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The Muse

November 17, 2004


Humor Columnist Dave Barry's take on shaving.

This thing called marriage...

Well, after reading my first thoughts about school and college, now we are almost at final thoughts! My apologies to all those fans [all four of you] from around the world for taking my blog offline these past three months. Actually, I have been busy blogging elsewhere for my class. Also, just found out that my college buddies initiated their own foray into the blogging world. Good work Ramkumar - you the man!

In these three months, nothing major has changed. Bush bhai won, killing in Iraq is ongoing,economy is recovering and more importantly, I am still single [I think...]. While I don't really want to write about the elections [you all have read so much from people much more informed], I would like to mention one opinion that I credit to Chris Matthews [hosts MSNBCs' Hardball] who had come over to our school along with top reporters from CNN,NBC,Reuters to cover the third presidential debate held in our school auditorium [no, there was no coverage for DD]. The economy was down, unemployment was way high, deficit was at a record high, there was war, children and civilians were dying, Bush could not speak English continuously,Kerry was intellectual and smart - with all of this, Bush was still at 50% in the polls. How could he lose?

Anyways,I was speaking with one of my best pals [Veera] just now and we were talking about girls, politics, girls, sports, girls, friends, girls, marriage - have I mentioned girls yet :-)? This got me thinking about this impending event in my life called marriage. Sure, we have all been expecting it but when it hits you, it will take some getting used to. I'm sure all the newly hitched people have their own take on it, but objectively viewing it, what is the main attribute that differentiates a 'normal' marriage and makes it into something unique and special?

All these mushy poems and love saga's talk about the emotion of love and how it conquers everything.Sure, whatever. While I agree that love is important, how many of us are fortunate enough to identify,stimulate,sustain and nurture love into a lifelong bond? And surely, being in love does not mean that life is going to be one sweet ride....that would be much too simple. After mulling this over for a huge amount of time [12 minutes] and talking and surveying a wide audience [two friends - one half drunk], I have come to the amazing conclusion that the single most important criteria that dictates the success of married life is.....SACRIFICE.

No, seriously, it kind of makes sense in certain contexts. And I'm not referring to sacrifices in a macho chauvinistic sense. When you think about it, happiness is very special when you give up something important to you because it makes someone else happy. And that is what life is about. My Dad always tells me that love or marriage is never, ever a 50-50 deal. Its always 60-40 or 30-70. You give up something, you overlap your needs with those of others and you find happiness in that. Once you accept that, everything falls into place. I seriously doubt if it is possible to have a perfect harmony or balance.Besides, where is the fun in that, huh?

I am back, more to follow.