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The Muse

March 28, 2006

This is all Maya

5 people who top your shit list..... and why:

1. Anyone who wishes any sort of harm to a child. [Please follow instructions under 5 preferable modes of suicide below]
2. Any guy who resorts to violence against women. Be a man.
3. People who keep saying how hard they work and how busy they are. Everyone is busy. Shut up.
4. People who feel a need to keep giving unwanted advice. Did someone ask you?
5. People who didn't work for anything but still flaunt their "inherited" money. You don't deserve it if you did not earn it.

Close brushes with death/danger:

1. I was playing frisbee in the river down south while on vacation with my two cousins in 1994. One guy got pulled into a tricky whorl, I gave him my hand and off we went. Both of us were almost out of it when we were pulled out and were lying on the riverbank when the rumor spread that we were goners. I can only imagine what went through my folks and family's minds. The next time I opened my eyes I was surrounded by everyone I've known in my life! Saved by a kind soul who I still haven't met...my family has banned anyone from visiting the river since that day.
2. My family on my Amma's side has this tradition of serving food to an old age home in Chennai every year to mark my uncle's death anniversary. I was in Varanasi that year (early 90's I think) and since we couldn't go to Chennai, my parents and I went to pray at a famous temple in Mirzapur. On the way back, I was in the front seat of our jeep when the tire below me came off and rolled merrily away in front of us. The jeep dragged on its axle for quite a distance before stopping, and we did not topple over. Guess someone was looking over us...
3. Other than those two, I'm not too fond of flying so that's a close brush everytime for me. I also spent two years in Delhi getting on and off the now defunct Red Line buses. Guess I'm living on the edge allright!

5 Preferable modes of suicide, in descending order:

Naah, I think suicide is a cop out. Unless its spurned by some sort of physiological imbalance, [or if you're from my shit list above] I cannot empathize with anyone wanting to kill themselves. You suicide bombers can kiss my ass.

However, if I were giving someone any suggestions, then here goes:

1. Donate your kidneys, eyes, lungs, heart, brain, balls (if possible), and anything that can be transplanted including your face and hair. Death will embrace you.
2. Participate in some high-risk mega important medical research, make sure you sign off your power of attorney to me before though.
3. Become a hitman and take out some well known and universally acclaimed jackasses. Use a headshot always. If people get close to you, shoot yourself. Remember to use a headshot
4. Take a huge bank loan, donate it all to charity and then take your pick of the three choices above.
5. See option 4.

5 Guilty pleasures:

1. Reading police procedurals or psychological thrillers. I cannot stop till I finish a book, no matter what I have to do tomorrow.
2. Listening to Enya or Enigma with the lights out at night (recent one)
3. Sleeping. Anytime, anywhere, anyplace....Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
4. Yaaawn!...whaa?..oh..yeah...hmmm...Freezing people out for long periods of time. Its mean, but I do this a lot even when I know its wrong.
5. Clothes. No, no, not like that. I’m so attached that I can never throw anything away. Everytime I go to India I get shouted at for wearing jeans that are torn or shirts that are old.

5 things you never want to forget:

1. When I saw my twin brothers for the first time.
2. A deepest, darkest day last year when I lost my uncle. I was there, and I never want to forget how my family rose and came together.
3. The day I got my first job during my final year of college. I called up my Dad and said Hey Dad, congratulations. Your son just got a job. That’s become a tradition ever since.
4. Annual vacations at my hometown with all my aunts and uncles. Everyone is complaining about something, the sound is tremendous, and people are running all over the place. Yet there is peace and happiness. Everytime.
5. My friends.

5 things you wish to forget:

1. The fact that I could not be with my Aachi when she passed away.
2. The way I broke off with my first girlfriend.
3. My confidence when I got two job offers and an admit into a business school in Chennai as I was graduating with my undergrad. I thought I was invincible. Now I know...
4. The fact that my collegemates are starting to pop out kids...[why God whyyyyyyyyyy?]
5. My favorite fiction books. Then I can read them all over again.

5 really exotic dishes you have tried:

I’m not really much of a sampler. I’m comfortable with Italian stuff, but thats’ it. Here goes anyway

1. I had a babaghanoush peeta with Tzatziki sauce the other day. Still don’t know what was in it.
2. Some weird looking beans thingy at an Asian restaurant. The person with me loved it, she even ordered it twice. I thought it tasted like uncooked potato.
3. A creamy brussel sprouts dish at the Bangalore Oberoi. My manager told me it was exotic for India, so there you go.
4. Kerala meals while on tour in Hyderabad. That’s right, in Hyderabad. I choked on the rice, so stopped right there and had a malai chai.
5. Coconut «burphees» made from some special ghee and milk artifact. My Chitti owns a couple of shops in TN, so she had this made for me when I was there a few months back. One of the few sweets I like.

5 crushes/loves in your life... in chronological order (even initials or nicknames wud do. Oh, no ID attempts or requests pleez):

Honestly, I haven’t had serious crushes. I’ve «sighted» people, and like some a lot, but no crushes in the sense of the word.

1. My benchmate from standard 2 till 4 when I was in London. We fought when I went to the 5th standard.
2. My classmate in Kanpur, class 8. She was a terrific singer and very unassuming.
3. My first girlfriend. No comments.
4. My second girlfriend. Still no comments.
5. My second girlfriend’s sworn enemy (yup, that was fun)

Strangest dream you ever had:

I’m standing up, and falling into a dark well. I never reach the bottom. Strangely enough, its a feel happy kinda dream. Weird, huh?

5 most valued personal possessions:

1. The greatest gift I ever got from my parents – my twin brothers.
2. My grandma’s pic, and the letters I get from my grandpa.
3. My family. Guess I’m pretty much the odd man out to actually love his family. Nothing but love till now.
4. My Swatch Watch.
5. A cross I have that was blessed by the Pope - got it when my Dad was working in London, and we were touring the Vatican in late 1988.

5 favorite superheroes..... and why:

1. He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Oh brother. Was I a fan or what. I have tapes somewhere of all the cartoons. Even practiced the transition words «By the poooower of Grayskull...» and the intro words « I am Adam, Prince of Eternia...». I was totally fascinated by the hero’s double life, his friends (Oracle, Man-at-Arms, Sorceress) and by his nemesis Skeletor, with Evil Lynn, Beastman etc. Ok, I’m going out and trying to rent it from somewhere!
2. Spidey bhaai. Love the way he is continuously tortured by his relationship with MJ.
3. Cyclops of the X-Men. Although Wolverine gets all the attention, I’m struck by how cool Cyclops appears (in the comics, not the movie).
4. All Indians who are suffering from poverty but still find a way to send their kids to school. Lead the way!
5. He is known as Captain, Puratchi Kazhaigar and as Gaabtun. Yes, ladies and gentleman, who else than our very own action man Vijayakanth. What's not to like? Some sample videos here and here.

If you're wondering at the title, please don't. Everything here is the truth. I was referring to the fact that I was tagged by Maya. Ok, one tag down one to go.


  • Hey! This was fun reading. :)

    So you have twin brothers eh? I have twin nephews. Identical?

    Btw, 2 items on your shit list are similar to what I had. Such people really make me see red.

    Your first exotic dish..wow that's quote a mouthful.:) Hope it tasted good too.

    By Blogger quills, at 9:17 PM  

  • Hey Quills. Welcome! Thanks!

    Yup, got twin bros and they are definitely not identical. They were remarkably similar when they were young, but now they are very different. People have a hard time believing they are twins.

    Yeah I just caught the similarities in the shit list. The pita with tz. sauce was ok, not out of the world but still good. But it was very filling. Maybe I'll have to acquire the taste or something.


    By Blogger Ram, at 10:09 PM  

  • Was fun reading your tag. Family man very much attached to your family. Me too.

    By Blogger Alexis Leon, at 11:15 PM  

  • Nice list of Maya :-), in the real sense of the word ;-)

    "Any guy who resorts to violence against women. Be a man." -- so violence against man is OK ;-?

    5 modes of sucide were very interesting and so were the 5 guilty pleasures :-) amongst the rest...

    By Blogger NaiKutti, at 12:08 AM  

  • Yipeee.You did the tag!Bravo!

    Everyone is busy....so true..And Shutup...lol.that was really good

    Your shit list rocks man!totally rocks

    phew!that was some river story

    sometimes we have the support of someone and they save us from the near deaths that take us away

    I hate flying too..there is never a guarantee!!

    yeh,actually it's so sensible to first give away all your organs .atleast someone else can have a good life while we are rotting

    very good suicide list...if I can say that;P

    I know someone who has two whole cupboards full of torn,bullet-ridden and washed out colors but they just won't let go cos of the memories!he owns stuff from the 60s,70s,80s hahaha good lord!

    twin brothers...wow!

    that is invincible.two job offers and an admit...that so rocks!!

    hee hee I feel the same about my colleagues 'poppin' out kids...they are just not around anymore for anything...bums!!!why god whyyyy(joey style hahaa)

    babaghanoush translates to brinjal...yum!

    2nd gf's sworn enemy...haha man!u are one fire-brand!!

    feel happy kinda falling into a well dream...gosh!!need i say more

    personal possessions:twin brothers...you are too sweet.

    I had fun reading this tag...want me to tag you again..wanna wanna?hee hee

    By Blogger Maya Cassis, at 4:03 AM  

  • Hi Alexis - yes, I am aren't it. I just went back and read the post and see that I've mentioned them a lot. Glad you like it.

    Hey Karthik - no, violence against men is bad man. But somehow men against women feels much worse then men against men. Stop all violence! Yeah, I was wondering about suicide and could think of only three, so made up the other two:)

    Maya, maya...you tageth and me not doeth? He he, yeah me and my shit list.

    Flying is scary, and I end up doing it so often :(

    Yes, the job offers and stuff was good. But then I started coming across people who had done so much more, with so much little that I was humbled.

    Well, I don't know if I liked her because she was my gf's enemy or whether she become my gf's enemy because I liked her. Its all hazy now...;)

    Yeah, love my bros to death and beyond. Y'know, funny thing in our family - my mom, her elder sister and younger sister (my aunts), all have exactly 11 years between their first and second children.

    Sure, bring the tags on. Though I warn you that I have one pending already (I think its the one currently on MC's blog).

    And I really had fun doing this, bought up some old memories that was floating just beneath the surface.

    By Blogger Ram, at 10:43 AM  

  • Ram: That was sweet putting the people who harm a child in your hitlist...oh sorry shitlist :)

    Never saw such modes of suicide. Interesting!

    Nice to know that you have twin brothers. Must be fun to be with them. I can totally relate to the annual vacations. All the cousins at one place, story time, fighing and then "Nila Choru" and finally talking all night before hitting the sack. Miss all those times :(

    Kids pop out pannarathula enna problem? Paavam kadavula edhuku kupidaringa? ;)

    Why do you say that you are an odd man out for loving your family? I thought everyone is like that.

    Lucky you! I have always wanted to visit Vatican. Never had a chance :(

    I didn't know that there existed people in this era, who are fans of Captain ;) Btw, the video about captain was hilarious. Only our people have such creativity, which will defy all laws of Physics :))

    By Blogger Sattvic, at 8:30 PM  

  • nice...
    liked the methods of suside...
    which one you thoght of trying.;-)

    By Blogger Nasir, at 5:33 AM  

  • Your post was great!!
    And ur SHIT LIST---ROCKS :P
    And @// My second girlfriend’s sworn enemy (yup, that was fun)
    // Ada pavee(NGA) :O
    And The pleasure....Not bad...EVERY BODY JUST LOVES SLEEPING..(Not just me MOM)
    -//1. Donate your kidneys, eyes, lungs, heart, brain, balls (if possible), and anything that can be transplanted including your face and hair. Death will embrace you.//That reminded me of KAMALHASAN :P No offence!!
    On the whole a wonderfull post...I missed tagging you...on INBA THUNBAM...Err....Are you free to write something ;)?

    By Blogger Marutham, at 9:51 AM  

  • Hello Fotographer madam...he he... Yeah I cannot bear to see or hear kids getting hurt. With my friends, I just feel old to talk to guys who are Dad's now - feel left out :). Re: family, well I was acknowledging the fact that a few people had certain bad experiences with a few of their families. And Captain..what do you mean? He has sooo many fans...I'll try to hook you up with more of Gabtun's antics.Do you want to join Gabtun's Global Network?

    Hello Nasir, welcome here and thanks. I think my choice would be to become a vigilante hitman. All I need is ammunition and a list, and I'm ready to rock and roll ;)

    Thanks Marutham. You know, you should have seen my second friends "enemy"...sigh...! Kamalhasanaa...aiyo! You can tag me anytime, I think this is "Tag Vaaaram" as in Sun TV :)


    By Blogger Ram, at 10:35 PM  

  • Hi Ram,

    Great rocking post!

    I too hate the 'busy' guys.
    and your 5 crushes were also nice to read. you having a real nice time i guess ;-)

    and not to forget, I really liked the 4th item on Superheroes. Man! that was true.

    This tagging stuff, seems to be real fun!

    Keep Posting.


    By Blogger Srijith Unni, at 3:17 AM  

  • :) lemme go in the reverse order :

    --> He-Man is still my favourite! , I wish i cld collect all the He-Man vids and i thot u prefered chimpu ;)

    --> :) possessions - brothers?? take mine too! plsssssss

    -->Dream - that dream was fun??? i thot dreams like those are called nightmares!!! :O

    -->crushes/love - ;) jus 5???

    -->dishes - i thot u wil mention ur own cooking ;)

    -->forget- soo u wanna pop out kidss too?? to forget tht fact ;)

    -->never forget - time with family :) u miss it huh?
    ( its jus that both the things u wanna forget are "in ur heart" and dont wanna forget are "in ur mind" )

    -->guilty pleasures- u forgot eating icecreams when u have a bad cold/ while getting drenched in rain ( or such things restricted only to gals?? :) )

    -->suicide- recording ur own voice and hearing it play in repeat mode!

    -->close brushes to death - :) even walking in chennai road's with the water tankers frequence increasing!

    -->shit list - :) no comments..

    lol! it was pure fun reading ur tag ram!

    By Blogger raz, at 1:58 PM  

  • Hey Srijith - thanks. I'm doing allright I guess hehehehe. Yes, its tag week. More coming up...

    Hi Raz - Chimpu is Chimpu. No one can touch him..he he, so your bro is a devil huh?.

    Just 5 crushes so far [naan romba shy type].

    Yes, heart mind conflict ;).

    I like ice-creams, but not crazy about them. And its definitely not restricted to girls.

    Thanks, Raz.Glad you had fun.


    By Blogger Ram, at 3:22 PM  

  • Hey Ram, I remember posting a comment on this post...Don't see it now..Did you receive it in the first place and if you did, did you delete it?? :( :)

    By Blogger SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP, at 2:43 PM  

  • Hi Scribblez - whaat? You comment and me delete? Never! Kabhi nahin! :) I saw your comments on some other back posts and just getting to reply on them. Don't know what happened....sorry! You did comment on the previous tag though - gosh, so many tags!

    By Blogger Ram, at 4:33 PM  

  • Hi Ram
    This was fun reading! Had I known earlier, I wud've tagged u too! ;)

    Ur suicide list was just 2 gud! Hope it motivates the right ppl! LOL!

    Nice 2 note abt ur twin brothers. I'm sure ur mom must've had a real tough time managing u + twin bros + any other siblings! Hats off!

    By Blogger Has to be me, at 2:23 AM  

  • Hi hastobeme, welcome here and thanks! Well, its just me and my bros, no other siublings. Yes, my Mom had a busy time taking care of us, but I was there to help :)

    By Blogger Ram, at 9:10 AM  

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