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The Muse

November 17, 2005


I've received a lot of comments on my post re: "arranged love". As Boss explained to me, some people do not feel very comfortable leaving comments, so write to me directly. Interesting that...

Well, to acknowledge a few public and private comments...Prosaicblabber thinks I'm being too starry eyed and wants me to come and live with other people on the earth, where filmi things rarely happen. Pi says, essentially, that it is better to be in some notion of love than not be in love at all. Good comment that [I've left it in the guestbook for you]. SR wrote back saying it was bang on, and really aligned with her thoughts. F told me that is what is happening with her friends right now.....

Basically, I get the message - our society is not structured to have guys and girls get to know each other in an informal setting. The "bar scene" that is so popular in the west is almost non-existent back home. I don't mean that there are no bars, I mean that there is no culture of going out, meeting people, having a good time and so on...The only way you can actually meet people is either at school or at work, so the chances of falling in "love" are not that good, so why not do this "thing in between"? Point taken.

My only opinion was that this "in between" thing has a very shaky foundation. So ask yourself whether you are getting married because you are in love or because you are afraid of not falling in love. Arranged marriage "phobia" is overrated in my belief. Sure it sounds very frightening, but as compared to the west, Indian culture has an inherent aversion to divorces and and all that. So the motivation for maintaining a successful marriage is very high. The more the effort, the better the chances are that it will succeed. Similar views expressed here [see, I mentioned you twice Prosaicblabber, you're so famous now]. Stay tuned.


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